My Why

How sad is it that a man, only 51 years of age, dies from a massive heart attack while on vacation with his 13 year old son?

After hearing about James Gandolfini's passing yesterday, I felt so sorry for his children.  In addition to his son, he's survived by an eight month old daughter.

It's just heartbreaking because maybe this could have been prevented.

I'm the daughter of a man who's been obese my entire life.  I've watched my dad go through heart attacks, diabetes, open heart surgery, and loss of his toes.  He's let his poor diet and lack of exercise lead us all on an emotional roller coaster I'd rather not be on.

Losing weight has superficial benefits, no doubt.  Sure, it makes me feel good to get more attention from the oposite sex.  It's nice to get compliments from people I know who "can't get over how good I look."  It's an ego booster to be able to shop in stores I never could when I was heavier.

It's not my "why" though.

It's about being around to watch my children grow up and experience life.  I need to be a good role model for them for when they have children of their own.  It's just about experiencing life with them for as long as I can without my own health being the reason I can't.

If you ever struggle with your own "why," think of your family and loved ones.   It can't be the main reason you make positive changes, but they are definitely a very close second.

Overwhelmed

After my last post, I was asked why I didn't like Insanity.  

I spent some time thinking about it.   It is a great work out program that delivers results- no doubt about that.  I've seen it transform people.

Insanity is 45 minutes or more of crazy, constant cardio.  There were no breaks, no real recovery, and as it turns out, I'm a wimp.

Every work just overwhelmed me- pushed me to my absolute limit.  I felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest sometimes.  More than once, I felt my muscles turn to mush and I had to stop and take a break.

I hate feeling like that.  I had no desire to do the work outs.

That being said, I might consider giving it a try again here and there.  Now I know what to expect and perhaps I can better psych myself up for it.  It was a format I did really like:  (crazy) warm up, stretch, and work out.  The stretch was such a nice break from the warm up before the insane work out.  

Turns out Insanity is aptly named!

I'm Still Here

I've been a horrible failure at keeping up this blog.  If anyone still checks it out, my sincere apologies!

While I would love to say I'm recommitted to blogging daily, I feel like I'm just setting myself up to fail.  I will just say that as I meet more and more people who have struggled with their weight like me, I will do my best to post more often.

So what's been happening with me for the last 2.5 months?

I started Insanity.  I hated it.

I learned that I hate that much cardio.  I missed lifting weights.  Make no mistake, it is an insane program; I've never been challenged so much by a work out program, but every morning, I dreaded going downstairs and pushing play.

I don't believe you should hate your work out.

So I stopped Insanity to do the Ultimate Reset, a 21 day clean eating detox plan that was the hardest thing I've ever done.  I'm a life long snacker and grazer, which admittedly is my biggest weakness.  They give you a full meal plan and supplements to cleanse and detox, but it's a fairly strict schedule.  Overall, I was able to follow it about 90%.  I had a few slips and I hated that I did, but nothing I can do to change that now.  My husband did it with me; I couldn't have been more proud of him either.  He lost 17.5 lbs, while I lost 6.5 lbs.  As hard as it was, I would definitely do this again now that I know what to expect and how it really works!

The kids are amazing too  I have one on my lap as I type and the other one is pressed up against me.  It's not very easy to blog like this but I love my cuddle time with them.  Tomorrow we head to Chicago and attend good friends' wedding.  I'm anxious to see how they do on the plane, even though they've been fine in the past.  I just never know what I'll get with Phoebe.  Wish us luck!

I'll post soon with our Ultimate Reset pictures and a review of Lean Out.  I have been researching a new-to-me exercise philosophy for after Lean Out that I'm excited to share with you all!