Big Picture

I'm about ready to pull my hair out.  I'm beyond frustrated.

The scale and my gut seem to hate me.

Some pretty negative thoughts have been running through my head these last few days.  I try SO hard.  I work out six, some times seven, days a week.  I've eliminated all junk from my diet.  I've even cut things that aren't junk simply because it's a grain or too much sugar.

The ugly voice of temptation inside my head keeps saying "See? It's not even working!"

I know that isn't the right response, so I tried evaluating what about my eating has been wrong this past week or so.  I'm pretty sure I've pinpointed it to overeating.  I've always struggled with portions...I'm a bottomless pit.

To make matters worse, I keep weighing myself, which is stressing me out.  Then I pull the cashews out of the pantry and binge to make myself feel better.  Before I know it, I've eaten way too many cashews.

Cashews.  Not donuts, not M&Ms.  Cashews.

Pretty healthy, right?

Just not when you eat a cup of them.

So this could be (another) post about how much I hate the scale and how I can't stop eating and how I'm not losing weight (again).

Funny thing is though, as I was getting dressed this morning, I noticed my "lower" belly wasn't hanging as low as it normally is.  In fact, I think I have a lot less extra skin right there as I used to have.  It felt DAMN good.

So, even if the scale goes up and I drown my sorrows in a bag of cashews, I need to remember the big picture and one day or meal does not define me or my journey.