Motivation

As I "meet" more and more people through my work with Beachbody and in my health journey in general, I'm reminded how hard it is to get started on changing your life.  Nothing about losing 80 lbs was or is easy. In fact, these last 10 lbs have been the hardest, but getting to a place where I was ready to change my life was hard.

I've had a weight problem my entire life.  I don't ever remember not having rolls and pudge.  I didn't know it was normal that your thighs should NOT rub together when you walk.   I've done diets before too. If you read my first post- there is very little I haven't tried.  All those years though, I didn't know how unhealthy it was to be as big as I was.  I don't know my highest weight, but around 18 or 19, I was wearing a size 22.  At 5'8'', I was a pretty big girl.

I was 11 when my dad had his first heart attack.  I can't recall if he's technically had a second one, but in the last 22 years, he's had quadruple bypass surgery, multiple stents, coronary angiograms, and many hospital stays for various infections and toe amputations.  

He is a severe Type 2 diabetic.

I don't have memories of him playing or horsing around with me or my two brothers.  We didn't do physical activities together unless it was yard work. He always loved yard work!  Needless to say, my relationship with my father, while very good, has always been overshadowed by his ill health.  He does not eat well or exercise.

He's not even 60 yet and he is less mobile than my husband's 86 year old grandmother.  He lost five toes on one foot, has very poor circulation in both legs, sleep apnea (although uses a machine most of the time), and almost constant back pain.

I had just had Sweet Pea when my dad started losing his toes.  I had already been on and off high cholesterol medication starting at age 26.  My first pregnancy was high risk due to my high blood pressure and I dreaded every appt during my second pregnancy because my OB kept telling me to expect the same issue.   There I was- almost 100 lbs overweight, high cholesterol, borderline high blood pressure, and suffering from post partum depression.   When I heard about my dad (I live in a different state), I was DONE.  We didn't know if the infection would keep spreading. Would he lose his leg?  Would my mom be able to take care of him?  Would he be able to take care of himself? Was this the beginning of the downward spiral?  It was the straw that broke the emotional camel's back.

There was no way in HELL I was going to put my kids through what I've gone through the past 20 years.  It's horrible to think that the next phone call from my mom is going to be the one telling me my dad is dead.  

I started to educate myself about calorie consumption and healthier eating.  I joined Weight Watchers.  I had a friend who offered to do a weight loss challenge with me.  I reminded myself every time I wanted to eat more or poorly that it wasn't worth it.  Instant gratification was NOT worth the big picture reward.  I had (have) good days and bad days- good meals and bad meals, but I stick with it, got over it and move on.  Knowing that I have full control over my body, my life, my future is addictive and keeps me motivated. 

Today, I feel healthy.  I look healthy. I am healthy.