Maybe I'm a Nut

On New Year's Eve, I stood in my bra and underwear at my closet door, tears blinding my vision.  Everything I tried on made me feel fat and frumpy.  I rejected top after top, switched to a dress, rejected it, and then tried another.  I ripped that one off too, threw it on the floor and sat on my bed, feeling deflated and depressed.

Why is it, no matter how our bodies change or how far we come, it's still so hard for us to see it?

It took my husband telling me "You're not fat.  I can wrap my arms all the way around you" for me to almost believe it.  Ok, maybe I didn't look lumpy and overweight in everything I owned.  Maybe it wasn't the end of the world and surely, this didn't warrant ordering a large pizza and eating it all myself.

He had to remind me again today that I've lost 80 lbs. I seem to forget this because when I look in the mirror, I still see me.  The me I was my entire life- overweight, unhappy, and unhealthy. 

Howveer, I did lose 80 lbs on my own, in a healthy and safe manor.  I've accomplished something amazing.  I was looking into getting a personal trainer because I want these last 10 lbs gone. He thought I was nuts and told me as much.

Maybe I am a nut.  I need to be happy about the journey I've had and not sweat the small distance I have left to go.

2013 is going to be the year of enjoyment and adventure. I'm going to enjoy my life, my kids, my husband, my job, family, and friends. I'm going to try new things, step out of my comfort zone, and give back.

It's time to get and stay positive!